Being the mother of the groom certainly is new to me. Our two sons will get married in as many years. Each weddings will be completely different: One sustainable, green; the other one a traditional Southern, evening wedding.

From time to time I will share my experiences.

When our son informed us about his engagement, I realized for the first time in my life that the dress I was going to wear at his wedding was really important me. When my husband and I were married in Germany 34 years ago, American wedding customs had not yet reached Europe, and a wedding was still more or less a family affair. My dress, made by our seamstress, was copied from a magazine. I wore a short, white and yellow affair with a yellow jacket, and white collar and cuffs.

After the fifth time my friends asked me what I was going to wear to my son's wedding, I realized this time I had to pay attention. Four months before the wedding, swatches of the bridal gown and the bridesmaids' dresses arrived. And shortly thereafter, the bride's mother showed me her recently acquired gown. This became serious, and I, too, headed for the mall. Lucky me! Within 25 minutes I found just what I wanted at my favorite designer.

And then I realized, I want to look good, too. Mirror, mirror... I asked. The mirror was smart enough not to answer; however, it showed a not-so-young face, hanging shoulders, a few pounds too many! Not that I wanted to compete with the bride, or appear like my son's older sister, but looking few years younger would not hurt!

The quickest fix, the mirror told me, was changing my posture: from slumping to standing up straight. Wow, the belly became half its size. But what to do with all the flaps? Then I remembered seeing a show on TV in which a woman in her sixties got rid of sags through exercise. Where had we stored the rowing machine after our move? In the next two months, I promised myself, I would exercise hard and eat half!

Last but not least came my face. This was a bit more complicated, because I am not sure if the bride is even going to wear lipstick, let alone makeup. I certainly do not want look like a fresco compared to the rest of the wedding party. During an event Jim Avila had told me that, besides being a makeup consultant, he does style and image consulting. So I called him and made an appointment. I wanted to have a fresher look, suggestions for a better hairstyle, and to learn a few tricks about how to look my best.

Jim's suggestion for mothers: Look gorgeous and sexy. Show off your assets, your face, your décolleté, your legs. Properly arched eye brows are like a facelift. The makeup can make you look more beautiful and, like a good dress, emphasize your strong points and cover up the weak ones. Don't match makeup, particularly lipstick, with the color of your dress; the same is true for eyes and eye shadow.

After Jim had worked on my face and I inspected my made-up self, I not only looked but also felt several years younger. And then I wondered, how much is the imagination of being attractive responsible for better posture and a smile on our lips
-- in short, for feeling good and looking younger?