In Peggy, I met a person who is warmhearted, down-to-earth with a great sense of humor, who follows in the footsteps of her famous great-grandmother-in-law Emily and her mother-in-law Elizabeth. She is in tune with her predecessors, considering etiquette as more than behavior without fault. The etiquette propagated by the Emily Post Institute is fluid as life and based on respect, kindness, consideration, and honesty.

In order to be in step with current manners, the family's books on etiquette are continuously updated; the original Emily Post's Etiquette, authored by Emily in 1922, is currently in its 17th edition, having recently been revised and written by Peggy Post. Peggy also updated the fifth edition of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, which was just published at the beginning of this year. New in this latest book is the chapter about technology where you can find answers to: "Is it proper to send a digital save-the-date card?" or "Can I send my thank-you notes via email?" There’s also a new chapter for grooms, attesting to the fact that more grooms are involved in their weddings than ever before.

"Etiquette comes into play when two people from different backgrounds are getting involved with each other. Etiquette is the fuel that powers a relationship," Peggy commented during her speech. This was one of the "a-ha!" moments I had during the day. It is much easier for a couple to avoid confrontation when they can consult an unbiased resource -- the book -- for help. Peggy's ground rules for wedding planning are the "3 Cs” -- Consideration, Communication, and Compromise, the same rules that will carry you through a successful marriage.

As an example of consideration, she told a story about Emily many years ago. During a dinner party the guest to her left accused Emily of eating from the guest's salad plate. "Oh, I tend to do that once in a while," Emily answered cheerfully.

“Can you now add the registry information to the wedding invitation?” was one of the questions posed to Peggy. She responded that it is still not proper. The reason? Doing so can offend the recipients of the invitations, since it easily seems that there’s more emphasis being placed upon gifts than on being invited. However, it is perfectly acceptable to add the list of registries to the couple’s wedding Web site. Thank-you notes were another topic. Peggy thinks they should always be handwritten, and reminded us that if the bride sends the note before the wedding, she has to use her maiden name. Grooms write thank-you notes these days, too! And, couples should write their thank-you notes as soon as possible – at least within three months of receipt of each gift.

As we proceeded to the next room for the elegant lunch, I was sure that all the future event coordinators were as curious as I about whether Peggy would use American or European etiquette at the table. I was not surprised that she chose American table manners, adhering to traditional, ethnic manners, considered to be appropriate. During lunch I realized again how important it is to be well versed in etiquette because it is the knowledge that gives you security and strength.

The afternoon ended with the book-signing. Peggy wrote a special note for everyone. She patiently answered many questions and accepted all invitations to pose for yet another photograph with a Speakers' Day participant. At the end of the day, we all left with the knowledge that the etiquette, which Emily, Elizabeth, and Peggy taught us, will be an important part of our lives.

Emily Post's etiquette books are available for children, couples, men, and business. For more information about the various editions published by the Emily Post Institute, please visit www.emilypost.com.

For more information about the Association of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants, please visit www.acpwc.com