Question:
We We are planning a wedding on short notice. The wedding is
9/10 and the invitations have not yet been mailed. Can
bridal shower invitations be mailed before the wedding
invitation because of time constraints? Thanks.
Answer from Elli Bernacchi
in
Print of Los Altos
Wedding showers are often given prior to wedding invitations
being sent...just be sure that anyone invited to the shower
is also invited to the wedding. Hopefully, your wedding
invitations will be mailed soon, as they should be received
six weeks before the wedding. Enjoy all your planning and
the wonderful upcoming events.
Elli
Question:
I work with many people who I like a lot, but I cannot
invite them all to my wedding. Since they have found out
about my engagement they are constantly asking to be invited
to my wedding. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I
cannot afford to have 500 people at the wedding!!
How can I graciously let people know that I cannot invite
them?
Thank you,
Answer from Jubilee Lau
Reminisce
I understand how difficult it must be to narrow the guest
list to a manageable number. When your coworkers hint to be
invited to the wedding, you can let them know regretfully
that you are not able to invite as many people as you would
like to the wedding because there are some restrictions to
the guest list. You can tell them how surprised you and your
fiancé were after putting together the names of all the
immediate and close families, which made you realize that
you cannot invite many friends and coworkers. Your coworkers
should understand, and you don't need to feel obligated to
give a detailed explanation. They will note the regret in
your voice and understand the difficult situation you are
in.
Good luck! Jubilee Lau, JWIC
Question:
I am
getting married in June 05 and I have had my wedding
invitations printed without out my fathers wife's name
titled as Mr. and Mrs. My father left my mother for this
women and my mother is now deceased and he has married her
before my mother past. There was controversy within my
family from his wife making a statement about my putting my
deceased mothers name on the invitation, so chose not to put
her name on it either, I just listed my father and my
fiancé's mother's name (his father is deceased, she has not
remarried) on the invitation and didn't include neither one,
my mother or his wife's name. I do not consider her apart of
my family she is just labeled as my fathers wife.
My entire family and friends would have been very upset with
me and said they wouldn't come to my wedding if I put Mr. &
Mrs. because they were very close to my mother. My concern
is not the feeling of her, but that of my father.
Please advise! Thank you.
Answer from Jubilee Lau
Reminisce
I can see that you are indeed placed in a difficult
position. It sounds like you printed the invitations with
the decision that you did not want to or feel the need to
include your father's wife on it. Not only have you made a
decision that you feel strongly about, but you are also
minimizing tension and controversy within your family and
friends. I would suggest that you speak to your father to
let him know your discomfort in including his wife's name on
the invitation. He should understand and respect your
decision. To make him feel better, you can offer to include
her in perhaps the program, or the introductions at the
reception. There are a lot of
compromises that need to be made for a wedding to show your
respect and love for the parents, but don't do anything that
you will make you resentful or upset.
Communication is key to keep a good relationship, and I
encourage you to talk to your father to make him understand
your decisions.
Good luck! Jubilee Lau, JWIC
Question:
Very dear friends
of mine are going to be celebrating their 25th Wedding
Anniversary. Their three children want to host this dinner
party at a local restaurant. The children are not
self-supporting (one is in college, one in high school and
the other is doing an internship) which means the guests
will have to pay for their own meal. Could you please
provide me with some wording to this effect. Thank you.
Answer from Elysia Heller
Elysia Heller Events
I would suggest the following wording:
_______, _________, and ________, the children of
______________ request the honor of your attendance at a
no-host dinner in celebration of their parent's 25th wedding
anniversary, date, time and location.
The wording can be changed to reflect the formality of the
event (this is fairly formal verbiage) but simply stating
that it is a no-host dinner is sufficient to let guests no
that they will be expected to pay for their own meal. Since
this is the case, I would also suggest adding a no gift
request.
I hope this is helpful.
Question:
I am getting
married on a Cruise in September 2005. I would like to send
out Save the Date cards with as much information as possible
but, I don't want it to be like a travel itinerary. How
should I word the save the date cards to let people know
that they are more than welcome to join us for the ceremony
at port only or to go on the cruise with us as well? Also,
what information about the cruise should I put on the card?
Is it okay to just do a simple card and ask them to contact
me with Cruise information? Thanks you!
Answer from Jubilee Lau
Reminisce
The Save the Date cards that you send to your guests can be
both fun and informative. Your guests will be very excited
to hear about your engagement, and they will want to start
making plans for it, especially if they will be traveling
from out of town. If you want to keep your Save the Dates
simple and sparse, just
include the basic elements of What, Where, and When.
However, many guests actually appreciate as much information
as possible, so don't be afraid to include information on
accommodations, formality, colors, and in your case, cruise
information! Be as creative in the ways your present the
information in your save the dates as you would with your
invitations, programs, and menu cards.
On both your Save the Dates and your invitations, you can
let your guests know that the ceremony will be held on the
port, and warmly invite them to the cruise following the
ceremony. You should provide them adequate information on
what they need to do to join you in the cruise following the
ceremony so that they
can make their own plans for it. Good luck Kelly, and best
wishes.
Question:
Do you need to
have the un-gummed envelope for the wedding invites? I have
the wedding invitations done, but no extra un-gummed
envelopes. any suggestions please.
Answer from Elli Bernacchi
in
Print of Los Altos
The un-gummed envelope is the inner
envelope...it is more traditional to use both an inner and
an outer, but not necessary. If you want both, the company
that made the invitations should be able to send you more
inner envelopes.
Hope this helps, Elli
Question:
I'm getting
married in the next year and I'm finding it very difficult
to word the invitation properly.
My fiancé's parents are both divorced and remarried. His
father and stepmother will be helping with expenses. His
mother is remarried to a man my fiancé doesn't care for and
they will not be helping with the expenses, however, she
would definitely feel slighted not to be included on the
invitation.
My mother was married to my father who left us before I was
born so I never met him. My mother remarried to my
stepfather, then my mother passed away and now my stepfather
does not speak to me...I want to include something to do
with my mother, but is it inappropriate on the invite.
How do I word my invite??? - Thanks!
Answer from Elli Bernacchi
in
Print of Los Altos
Together with their families ....this says
they are all helping in some way and doesn't name or exclude
anyone in particular. This is always soooo complicated, and
can be the source of much conflict between parents, step
parents and their children....good reason to get married and
STAY married....
I offer the above wording and beyond that try to stay out of
it as it is usually so emotionally charged and never
pleasing to all parties, that any advise makes somebody
mad....
Regarding reference to the bride's deceased mother....ther
wedding ceremony and PROGRAM are the appropriate places to
remember her mother.
Hope this is some help.
Question:
Is it appropriate to
send the groom's Mother a formal wedding invitation?
Answer from
Johanna
By Recommendation Only
Yes of course, it will be a nice keepsake for
her.
Question:
My husband and I
elope a year ago and our family don't know yet. We plan to
have a wedding party and invite our friends and family. How
should we word this?
1.) You are cordially invited
to attend the wedding celebration of the
marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Smith
on ....
at the ....
2.) You are cordially invited
to attend
the wedding reception,
celebrating the marriage
of Mr. and Mrs.
on ....
at the....
Question:
My fiancé and I want to have a
private ceremony for our closest friends and family, and
then invite everyone to the reception, (which will be held
in a different location) We are afraid that we may offend
the people that will not be invited to the wedding. Is
this okay to do? and if so, how do I word the invitation?
Or do I send two invitations, wedding invitation and
reception invitation? Thanks
Answer from Dee Merz
Dear Kristy, Your situation is very common; it is not always
possible to invite everyone. And, many couples want a private
ceremony that is very intimate.
The most important fact to remember is that it is your
wedding and you should be very comfortable in the way you
celebrate the ceremony and the reception. My advice to
how to send the invitation is that you will send an invitation
to those joining you to witness your intimate ceremony.
I would then suggest sending out an announcement of your
marriage ceremony and include a warm request for guests
to join you in celebrating your marriage. Include the place,
time and RSVP.
At the reception you can share the ceremony by showing
some photos. I think that many people will wonder how you
celebrated and the questions will be asked, so it will
then become a wonderful memory to share. I'm sure the beauty
that lights up your face will be enough for everyone.
For whatever reasons that you will have the private ceremony,
hold them deep within your heart.
Wishes for the best,
Dee Merz
Question:
My fiancé and I are eloping later
this year, but returning to have a dinner for 40-50 guests.
I am not sure how to word the invitation to this dinner.
Answer from Michelle Hodges
I would say something like:
...Please join us in the celebration of our marriage...
The rest should be typical verbiage for a wedding invitation.
Question:
My fiancé and
I are getting married in August. I am in the progress of
making our wedding program. I have decided to put the parents
of the bride and the parents of the groom on the program
too. My problem is, My parents are divorced and both remarried.
My step mother has been in the family for over 15 years.
My step father however has only been around a couple of
years. Also My fiancé's (the grooms) mother just recently
passed away. How am I suppose to word everything and not
hurt anyone's feelings? I have read and read but nothing
matches all the problems I am having. I would appreciate
any help. If it helps we are listing that a candle is being
lit by the bride and groom in remembrance of the grooms
mother.
Thanks, Jessica
Answer from Elli Bernacchi
in
Print of Los Altos
Mother and Stepfather of the Bride Mary and
John Smith
Father and Stepmother of the Bride Susan and Donald Cox
Late Mother and Father of the Groom Carol and David Brown
Hope this helps,
Elli
Question:
We are getting
married June/2003 in Las Vegas and we will be a big group.
We will have cocktails in our room after the ceremony and
dinner; then dancing with those who want to join us. We
will have our reception in August/2003, two months later.
Originally we had sent out "Save the date cards" stating
the reception will be July/2003. Due to space, we had to
reallocate the hall. Some people still think the reception
is in July. Should I send an insert with informing everyone
of the new date when I send my invitation out this week?
Thank you!
Answer from Johanna
By Recommendation Only
You won't believe how many people will not
realize that the date has changed, even when they read
the invitation. An insert with the explanation would clarify
the change of dates for everyone. Good luck!
Question:
I am a Roman
Catholic but my fiancé is not. We are getting married
in the Catholic Church and it will not be a full Nuptial
Mass. How do I word my invitation?
Answer from Barbara Silverman
The
Desk Set
The Roman Catholic Church requires a posting of banns,
the public announcement of a couple's intention to marry.
The banns must be announced from the pulpit or in the church
bulletin three times before the wedding. Catholics can
be married in a simple wedding service or in a Nuptial
Mass. A Nuptial Mass is a wedding ceremony performed as
part of a Catholic Mass. If this is the case the invitation
should mention that a Nuptial Mass will be performed, so
that the guests will know the ceremony will last longer.
Unless special permission is granted by the bishop, Nuptial
Masses may not be performed during Lent or Advent.
Question:
I am getting
married on a boat which will include a short cruise for
the reception. My fiancé and I have agreed that
children under the age of 14 will not be allowed to attend
the ceremony. How do I tactfully say this on the wedding
invitations?
Answer from Elli Bernacchi
in
Print of Los Altos
If you are doing a separate reception card
(and this may be reason enough to do one) you may title
the card "Adult Dinner Reception" or you may
put a note at the bottom "Regretfully, we cannot accommodate
children."
If you do not wish to print a separate card, it is rather
difficult as you probably don't wish to clutter the wedding
invitation w/ any of these comments. Another approach is
to ask for "number of persons attending" on your
response card and if it's evident that children have been
included in the count, you may simply call your guests
and say that the children's name was not included on the
invitation address and that you simply cannot accommodate
them.
Good luck, Elli Bernacchi
Question:
What is the proper
way to retract an invitation already sent to someone. We
sent an invitation to a couple because they were friends
of our parents. My parents are no longer friends with the
couple and were only invited because of the friendship
with my parents. The other couple knows that they should
not attend, but responded that they will be attending.
Answer from Carol Rothman
Glorious
Weddings
Once an invitation has been sent there is no way it can
be retracted. The couple involved should know that they
should not attend. Unfortunately, proper etiquette dictates
this. I hope this helps.
Question:
We are getting
married June next year. We both have family up north (we
are in Florida) and want to give them all time to plan
so that they will be able to make it to our wedding. I
have heard of these "Save the Date" cards, but
how are they supposed to be worded? Any Ideas? When is
it a good idea to send save-the-date cards?
Answer from Marilyn Kline
If you are planning your wedding for one of the busy holiday
weekends or during the summer vacation months you may wish
to send save-the-date cards. These cards, sent a minimum
of three months before the wedding, advise family and friends
of your wedding plans and allow them to take your wedding
date into consideration when making their own plans. They
are also essential when a number of overseas or out-of-town
guests are invited or your wedding is held in a popular
resort area such as Yosemite or Hawaii where reservations
may need to be booked up to a year in advance, sometimes
more.
Save-the-date cards are usually small, ecru or white cards
that reflect the feel of your future invitations. While
it is essential that out-of-town guests receive them, as
they will need to make travel arrangements, it is best
if they are sent to all guests so that no one will feel
slighted, thinking that they may not be invited to your
wedding.
The following wording may be appropriate, yet additional
information may be added if necessary:
Please save the date of
Saturday, the tenth of August
for the wedding of
Miss Lisa Marie Morrison
to
Mr. Robert Allen Davidson
